There are days I think there are so much we could do and achieve without having kids, but that was not really a wishful thinking, just wild thinking, or rather thinking of no sense, when the mind just too occupied with crazy issues in family to resolve.
But in a way, I am glad we chose to have kids, namely the Tan-Vijayans.
They are all miracles from God. From the twins, survived through the pre-mature delivery. The daughter, after 8 years, we planned to have addition to the family, there were challenges, but God delivered all of them to us.
So talking about parenting, it is like a stage or phase in life one has to go through. We received from our parents, now we are in the stage of giving to the kids.
There are just way too many things to provide, I thank God for my parents, with their almost close no money situation, they brought us up. The same goes to Retna’s. The unconditional and sacrificial love parents given to us.
I was watching the latest episode of Billions. What caught my attention the most was that the wife of the billionaire told the husband that they are too gentle and spoiling the 2 sons. So the wife the husband, they need to be roughen up as well as to go through some challenges in life, or else they would be the rich spoilt brats.
I have seen how many parents chose not to let their kids to go through the challenges but smoothen things up for the kids. So the kids, generally less equipped with some skills or experiences when they need to face real life situations.
While I was traveling back from Perth, we were lining up for the lavatory usage, and one teen boy walked and cut the line, when Retna pointed him the line, his reply, “So what?”
Actually I do not care whether the parents educate the kid or not, neither I care whether the kid attitude would then reflect on his parents, as bad parenting, I care more for our kids, whether they would be a pain to some or many in life.
How to correct them? Never miss any opportunity to correct and educate the kids, use every opportunity you will have.
So to give you an example, I have used sessions like sitting in the bus, with the twins, told him, through whispering, what I observed etc, they will listen and learn. We have lots of discussion normally over meals.
Kids actually love to learn, when you remove the electronic gadgets from them.
We were at a Chinese New Year get together, some guests noticed our kids do not carry tablet nor smartphone around. Neither they occupied themselves with these gadgets. They spent time to play, chat and talk to people, especially to adults.
Some of the guests asked, how we did it, how we trained our kids to have conversation. I said, “Remove the smartphone, tablet, laptop, they will talk and listen.”
Have kids hard to handle, you should start look around what are the causes, I mean other than you have no time for them, there will always be something distracted them from behaving.
And, do not leave the educating the kids, teaching them to someone else, other than you.