For the past few months I have been troubled with this thing about growing older and ability of handling being old.
I am serious.
The reason I have this thought is that while I am communicating with my mother, it becomes really heart breaking whenever I have a conversation with her, be it on the phone or face to face.
It is always centred around:-
- You seldom see me, you avoiding me?
- You have your wife now, so you do not need your mother anymore?
- I have not seen your kids for so long (even though they have just met a month ago)
- Why you did not call me daily?
- Do you how boring it is to stay at home?
It is not that I am complaining about my mother. I wish we could have turn back time to make some changes for my mother.
Ever since my father passed away, my mother was given different opportunities to do something – like small consulting jobs, advising on real estates in Cheras as well as baby sitting businesses.
I am not sure what was the reason my mother did not want to pursue anything, but to stay home.
I guess it was by choice and it was her choice, which we could not comprehend.
As parents with kids, we need to learn that some day, we will be all alone at home.
The kids will be out and about to conquer their own world and destinations, we are not there to block them but support them, all the way.
I am not sure what I would be when I am in my seventies. But one thing I am doing what I can at the moment, to delay my ageing, as well as to remain active in work and community. I may not be active like climb the wall, nor going for camping of the sort. I am trying to be relevant to what I do in business and work, as well as community.
Not necessary the best, but I think I could do my best.
So just want to share the following pointers about getting ready to be old, or older.
Read, and learn about the latest things. Remove phrase such as, I am too old for this and so old already, still need to learn?
Learning, Never Ending
Some of my friends, classmates, being telling me, why learn this and that. Already older, not that I could use the skills etc. I generally do not spend my time to explain to them, as I think it is absolutely waste of my resources to do that.
If you like to learn, go ahead.
Technology is not for the Young Only
If anyone thinks that technology is for the young, then the person would stay out of totally irrelevant soon, or at once.
We use technology daily, whether we like it or not.
For e.g. in the past, we will update our bank account books at the teller counters. Now, that process is no longer exist, and the customer is encouraged to check the balance online.
Another e.g. payment to someone. You no longer need to spend your time to head to the bank, find the car park, then waited in queue to do that, again can be done online.
I have been explaining this to my uncles, aunties and even my mother. I think slowly they begin to see the light of technology.
Fret not about technology. One step at a time.
I am still really afraid of the oven technology at home, as I find it really hard to configure what setting etc. But I will not stop baking.
Use Technology To Keep Your Family Closer
Not invading your kids nor spouse privacy, but you could always keep in touch with them through phone calls, messages. In the past, my mother could only get me at our home phone, now she could reach me any where, through my mobile phone, the same goes for my mother.
Continue to Hang Out With People You Care About
It is important to keep in touch with people. Just do not live alone for too long.
Community, Do Something
I noticed how our neighbourhood resident association vice chairman keeping himself busy and occupied with the management of the RA activities, issues and funds. He works out of love and on volunteer basis, no one is paying him anything, neither he needs anything in return from the committee.
Plan An Annual Trip
I met one of Retna’s former superior whom has already retired. She told me that she plans annual trip to another country, another place to learn about the country, culture etc.
This is a good thing to do. One of my uncles has an annual trip abroad which he would stay there for like few weeks, just to experience life and culture in the country he is visiting.
Finally, Attitude Change
Yep, attitude has to be changed to face the fact of life.
We can not possibly be staying where we are now, and expect things would not change in 30 or 40 years down the road.
So, let’s enjoy life.