Learning about nakedness

Public bath house we visited while in Kyoto

Naked, is a taboo.

While my mother does not allow me to see her naked while I was growing up, as she told me, it is not right, because I should not see any woman without the clothes on.

I wanted to tell my mom that I have seen her naked when I was born, and same goes for her, she has seen me naked as a child.

I used to swim in the public pool in Kuala Lumpur, where I used to encounter naked men bathing, walking about.  I used to think it was strange where these men wanted someone to look at them naked.

However, I took nakedness to the next level, I would not remove my clothes in the hotel room while sharing the room with my colleagues, then I would put on everything before coming out from the bathroom.

Of course it was highly inconvenient to bath and putting on clothes inside the bath room without getting the clothes getting wet.

So how to deal with nakedness?

Just face it.

I used to hear preachers at church talking about how they bathed with their children in the same bathroom.  I have also learnt from friends how they shared the bathroom with their kids with clothes on, while bathing.

So, to deal with nakedness, seems like a serious thing for many, or perhaps some.  So my first trip to Japan with Retna, we were invited to visit an onsen in Mt Fuji.  We went.

The person whom brought us there did not join us, but left instruction with the person whom managed the place to show us how to do it.

First, we needed to be totally naked, and left the clothes as well as our belongings in a locker.

I was directed to a bathing area to wash myself clean before entering the hot spring.

It was my first experience to be inside a hot spring with rest of the men whom I do not know, naked.

I shared that story many times with the kids, they were curious.  Seriously curious, how to bath together naked.  I told the kids, in prison, I have learnt that the prisoners too bath together naked.

So while we were in Kyoto, we asked our host home if there is any public bath house around, since we missed it while in Tokyo, as we did not make a trip to Mt Fuji due to bad weather.  The host sent me 2 links, all in Japanese, I used the Google Translate, and found out that one is walking distance from the house.  So we went.

You can read all about this place here.

The twins and I went to the male side and Retna, Inez to the female side.

As parents, it is good that we show them the world, where we could, instead of they just hear it from us or someone else.  It is always good for them to experience life.

We were inside the sento for 45minutes, with enough time to soak ourselves into sauna, cold water as well as really hot water.  Good to meet other Japanese males, without their clothes on, and hearing them chatting while soaking in the hot water pool, was like something I could only see in movie.

I summarise the experience to deal with nakedness as below, hope it helps you when you need to face the nakedness or yourself, others as well as with your children.

Do Not Be Shy To Be Naked 

It is a body given by God, for us to maintain it according to our will.  Whatever we have, that is what it is.  Let the children learn about the naked body from you, then they explore through other means – red light areas, early pregnancies etc.

Education Time

Public hair, genital part, should the children asked, take it as an opportunity to educate and explain.  It is easy not to talk about it, but we could not hide nor avoid the topic forever.

While it is beneficial to educate, do not cross certain lines here.  For example, you are in no position to demonstrate to your child on sexual activity, that, you need time to educate.

Progressive Education 

The last point I made previously, leads me to the crucial education process, do not teach everything in one go.  Teach and educate as you go.

Sex is exciting topic, but you do not need to teach a baby about sex as the child will not comprehend that much and thought you are encouraging the sexual activity.

Open Your Eyes With An Open Heart and Mind 

Do not add layers or colours to view nakedness.

I have seen men and women naked not because of sharing of bathroom, but on occasions which I would not share with you here.  Have an open mind and heart when you are in that situation.  There is nothing to be ashamed nor troubled about.

Just relax, come and go with open mind.

Naked Does Not Equal Sex 

My final point.

It is not an invitation to sex.  So clear the mind.

I heard from someone in my family about visiting strip club while abroad as well as visiting brothel when they were away for work.

If one come with a mind full of filthiness, then it would head to the wrong start.

Must remind our children, naked does not mean an invitation to have sex.