Campur, Seldom the Concept in Many Heads
Wednesday, 7 March 2012
Found it funny and offending at the same time.
I was asked whether the nice lady in the car, sitting next to me is my latest ‘dark’ girl friend when I went into the regular tyre shop to fill the car tires (nitrogen).
“She is my wife.” I said.
“I thought you married Chinese?” The tyre shop owner said.
“You never noticed my children kind of cute & do not look like Chinese?” I told the boss who was laughing about himself making a mistake.
“Oh, I never have guess.” He said and then kept apologizing to Retna about his remark.
I guess this just shows that how some are still living in the era which no one would go into mixed marriage or mixed marriage does not receive great blessing from the society. Well, the owner as well as whoever thinks of that way, are obviously wrong.
The mixed marriage has a long history in my family, and I am not the first, neither is Retna’s family. My auntie in Bukit Mertajam met her husband, an Indian, who cherishes her so much even they are at their older age now.
Retna’s brothers, origin of Sri Lankan, happily marry with their wives, whom are Chinese. Not to mention Retna’s sisters, some are married to Norwegian and British. So, now you would understand the concept of mixed marriage?
Our sons are often challenged by their classmates about their race and ethnic group. Although it took a while to overcome these challenges, more so they were younger, but we are glad they handle all these very well. Often I can hear Elijah and Ariel telling their friends that they are Chinese and Sri Lankan mixed. Ariel sometimes would add on, “I am Hokkien-lang too. My father is born in Penang and I feel like I am from Penang too. To be accurate, Bukit Mertajam.”
It is also our responsibilities to educate and lead guide them in handling issues like this. Thinking about it, even Obama has this problem too.
Do not hope that anyone would help your kids in handling their identity, as a parents, do it with them.